October 29th, 2007

The Zombie

I'm Back (as in "Back, monster! BACK!").

October 28 -  Well, I'm back...I think.  After being down for over twenty-four hours, the WOMPuter seems to be...fine?  Maybe?  It is a little slow, but it's working well, and without the groaning and squealing of the recent past.  Ugh; computers!  I'll never understand those boxes of sparks and glowing things.  And the time off from The Internet couldn't have come at a worse time.  Not only am I wrapping up "Forbidden" WOMP Character Month here in the WOMP-Blog, but my Fallfire art contest is ending in a few days, and most of the submissions are sent to me on-line!  Toward that end, I want to beg you (yes, YOU!) to submit a Fallfire entry.  It's not too late!  Really!  And the top two prizes have doubled!  Second Place now earns $100.00, and First Place now garners a whopping $200.00!  So, dig down deep, find something "fallfire" within yourself (and within the next two days or so!) and send it in.  OK, now back to the realm of the forbidden.  Let's catch up, shall we?  Let's start with what should have been the "Forbidden" WOMP Character of October 26 - G-Man!  No, he wasn't a government agent (although, now that I think about it, he might have been...hmmm).  G-Man was the "affectionate" nickname that popular opinion bestowed upon my high school Algebra teacher, Mr. Gilbertson.  He wasn't a despised teacher, but he wasn't an "all-star," either.  Mr. Gilbertson had a good sense of humor, but not always about himself.  He was "famous" for his unchanging over-sweater (a hideous throwback to the 1970's that featured a macrame design of a hunter and hunting dog), and his droning, monotonous voice.  Many a student was literally hypnotized into a deep, restful sleep by that monotone-baritone, so much so that his voice was almost like a superpower.  Hey!  That's how I got the idea to draw G-Man Comics.  By day, Mr. Gilbertson was the most boring teacher to ever explain a cosign, but, whenever trouble was afoot (or ameter, when teaching in metric), he transformed into G-Man, Defender of the Doomed!  As G-Man, he wore an obviously Superman-inspired costume, complete with stylized "G" on his chest.  He had the ability to fly, graph, carry the integer, and paralyze opponents with his patented sleeper-hold-voice.  Actually, G-Man mostly appeared in funny posters and such.  I only completed two full issues of G-Man Comics.  In one, he tangled with Pi, the Infinite Constant (Pi looked a bit like Ace of the Royal Flush Gang, except that he had a squiggly monobrow over two elongated black eyes - the symbol for pi).  In another, he made pie out of Gord, The Killer Squash...a character that I have retained in The World of Monkey (even Pi might make a comeback some day as well).  The two comics were photocopied and distributed liberally amongst my fellow Juniors, causing quite a sensation for a few days.  Then Mr. Gilbertson read them.  After getting over the initial shock, I think that he was actually flattered!  The stories weren't too hard on him (except about that sweater), so it's not like I really had anything to worry about anyway.  Even so, G-Man is now forbidden because he, as well as his now retired namesake, are best left to fond memories of high school life from years ago.  Now, on to the "Forbidden" WOMP Character of October 27 - Anti-Matter Man!  Fans of classic DC comics will recognize this name (as might fans of the original Lost In Space TV show).  The twelve-year-old me, however, was positive that the name was entirely new.  "How brilliant I am!" I thought.  "A man made out of anti-matter!  It's genius!"  Anti-Matter Man (my Anti-Matter Man) was easy to draw, too.  He was basically a silhouette, sprinkled with white specks.  At first, he was an energy-blasting villain without a hero to fight (strangely, he never tangled with Monkey).  Eventually, and inexplicably, he became a character in a humorous comic strip!  I thought that it would be interesting to read a daily strip featuring the misanthropic misadventures of a bad guy instead of another generic hero.  Still not a bad idea, I suppose, but not with Anti-Matter Man.  Even if I hadn't soon discovered that several, several other Anti-Matter Men (DC's being chief antagonist in a classic early JLA/JSA team-up) were already out there, I would have dropped my A-MM anyway.  Like October 10th's Erlingston, I eventually figured out that his expressionless face was not made for close-ups...at least not as a main character.  Finally, here's your "Forbidden" WOMP Character of October 28 - Madame Malignitas!  Ugh.  What a name...and this one wasn't the character's "street name."  She really was "Madame Malignitas."  She's another one of my "big boss" villains, designed to tussle with the globetrotting finders, inc. folks.  Malignitas was a crazy-wealthy Greek heiress, who controlled the only other business that was similar to finders, except that hers was unscrupulous.  For example, where the finders might research, Malignitas Associates might torture.  In appearance, she resembled an older, extremely cold Jackie Onassis (part inspiration for the character).  She was always dressed in the most expensive, yet conservative, stark fashions, and came complete with incredibly narrow sunglasses and - ugh - one of those long Penguin-style cigarette holders.  Oopah.  Well, as I continue to develop finders. inc., Madame Malignitas will probably get a retooling, starting with the name.  Until then, she, too, is forbidden.  See ya tomorrow (maybe?).